Thanksgiving woes, again!?

last year my mom about had a conniption fit because i decided to do thanksgiving only with his mother last year. i had went every year that my mom had had me (i was adopted at 5). we had been able to go to both until last year because my moms was 2 hours away from where i lived. (my husband and i were dating at the time). she literally griped me out because i decided to only go to his moms house. well i am confused about what to do this year even though i told her we would be coming to her thanksgiving first because it is like she has been ignoring me. i have called her 3 or 4 different times and left her messages on her answering machine or have called and gotten a hold of her in the 6 months my husband and i have been married. everytime i have gotten the answering machine she never called me back right away. it took her two or three weeks. even when i do get ahold of her it takes her two to three weeks to call me back. then i get frustrated because she will always say you didn't call. i am tired of being the one always having to call her though. it almost makes me think she sees my name on the caller ID and won't answer. she has told me lots of times too that she don't call me back because she knows i like to talk on the phone for a long time. i feel like i am being ignored and don't even really want to go see her anymore, not even on the holidays because of her never calling or asking to get together except on holidays. what would you do in this situation? i feel she don't call me much or ask me to do much either because my husband has be defend myself because she is always trying to control everything i do and then we get into huge fights when i tell her i don't want to do what she has suggested. she has even told me that she feels she is more apt to be right about stuff because of her age. i have cried like 5 times since my husband and i have been togeter because of her starting fights with me when i won't do her suggestions. she says that whenever i have an opinion it's my husbands fault i don't listen to her. that makes me mad because i can think for myself. what would you do in this situation?