I am bulimic. Please help me!?

I recently started making myself myself throw up for about... 5 months and I realized that I've stayed the same weight. However, now I'm addicted and i cant get rid of it. I do not want doctor treatment because I am ashamed of telling my family. I am 5"0 and weighs 125. I don't actually "binge" and throw up. What i usually do is eat lunch and dinner like I always do, and throw up, and eat a smaller portion to lessen my craving for food. I know this is really bad, that is why I want to stop. I regret taking my diet this direction but I have no idea what to do. Can I still recover from this? Is there a high risk that my throat is damaged or my digestive system? I realized that I messed up my metabolic processes, how do I gain it back?